Night before jaw surgery.

So this is IT, tomorrow is jaw surgery day. I've been running around like mad woman trying to get everything together since I've come out to Cali ! 

Monday was a long day. My final surgical consultation/planning appointment, it took about 4-5 hours and we went into everything with much detail. Dr.G measured my face 3 times, at different points that morning to make sure that he was measuring accurately and there wasn't any error on his behalf. We did a scan to check the health of my joints, see where my nerves were running and inspect the alignment of my teeth's roots. Quite intensive, and is probably what I was looking for from the beginning, getting everything upfront instead of having to ask questions all the time. But honestly, not all patients are as interested in knowing the details, some people just want their surgeon to figure it out for them. So after all the measuring, scanning, etc we discussed aftercare- and during the slideshow, I just started welling with tears and started crying, hard. It hit me. The reality of it all HIT me. Was this really happening, was this going to happen to me? What the HELL did I get myself into. My head was doing 200mph in that room, I felt like I was going to pass out. It did take me a bit to calm down, and recompose myself. 

This process is so long, that it gets easy, to just dismiss the surgery as some distant point down the road, but when you REALLY get whats going to happen to you- it can get emotional, it did for me.

We went through the aftercare, and I knew about all the things my surgeon does like placing a tiny screw in between your eyebrows to ensure he keeps everything lined up when he's putting you back together, (thank you jaw bloggers :) !! After this we went over my final plan, my airway which is okay would get bigger (yay), my bite would fit my mouth better and teeth would hit as they should.  (yay), face... oh lord this was the difficult part and Dr.G knew it, he could see my face react. So after all the measuring turns out, that I now have a SLIGHT cant and that the right side of my face is a bit off from my left. My first reaction, was what, really? Yes really, it turns out Im so fixated on my messed up gums/teeth I never even saw it. Anyhow he will align it right and might have to do some grafting on my right cheekbone (I'll take it- who doesnt want great cheekbones) lol. The final part is probably what scared me the most, since we will be impacting so much (6-7 mm) - I might look like a basketball- which worries me. He suggested a buccal lipectomy, he still hasnt finalized this, but he might have to do it. Part of me feels its best he doesnt since we are already doing SO MUCH and if I want to, we can do this 6-7 months down the line if Im not happy... I dont know. Part of me is like you are going through hell already, do it once and get it done so you dont have to do it again. I dont know I havent had much time to process it to give too much a reaction. Oh and a final thing, you sign your life away, with all the consent forms, I get it, but part of me found it discomforting. 

Monday night, was tough, my migraine came back with a vengeance and I couldnt sleep. At one point I felt like I had a fever, my body was shaking and I felt cold as ice, not good.

Today- had my hospital preadmit, go over insurance information, had some blood work done (I got stabbed twice lol, not pretty) and got to meet one of the lovely RN's. We also had to take off this gold bracelet that my mom jammed onto my arm, no joke over 10 years ago and it will NOT come off... After much tugging, pulling, lotion and vaseline lol we were able to get it off! I think Im in good hands. After that appointment, I went for my physical, Dr. S is hilarious and is one of those people who was BORN to be a physician. He made me laugh the entire time and put me at ease for the 40 or so minutes I was there. After much deliberation I called my surgeon as I've been unable to sleep for 4 nights due to anxiety and migraines, and said I could take lorezapam *still havent taken it*. Im like now isnt the time to be all warrior like, just take the stuff and keep going.

I ran some errands, went to an orchid estate (amazing), got my prescription medication, had some cookies, and now chilling trying to figure what I will be having as my last meal. Lebanese food or Sushi. Decided on Sushi.

Just had a chat with a few friends, and I think now its time for me to sleep.

Its been such a long journey to this very point, that it feels surreal. My inner warrior decided to shut up, took my lorazepam and Im still waiting to have an abduction by extra terrestrials or waking up and realizing this was all some crazy dream.  I got 12 hours to go. 12 mad hours to go. Here we go.